Life after anti-depressants
I’ve agonised over writing this blog. Last July, I posted a video explaining what I’d been dealing with. It felt easier to talk it through rather than write it down. But I set myself a goal to try and write this so here we go.
Citalopram is an effective anti-depressent. Millions of people will have taken it at some point in their lives. I have, and I always will be an advocate of medication like this. It’s exactly the same as taking meds for a physical health issue such as high blood pressure or acid reflux.
It’s been about 15 months since I began to wean myself off the tablets. I don’t say this lightly - it has been the hardest time of my life.
Having taken citalopram every single day for almost 20 years, I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy ride getting it out of my system. The list of withdrawal symptoms is endless, and I’m still experiencing issues now. Brain fog, numb mouth, headaches, vertigo, insomnia, painful and restless legs, IBS, hyper-sensitivity both physically and mentally. My sympathetic nervous system had gone into overdrive and I often had all these symptoms simultaneously.
In true Nat style, this journey wasn’t going to close without one final mega challenge. By December, after overcoming all these issues, I hit burnout. I tried to keep going; continue working, developing my business, manage a house renovation, drag myself out of bed, remember to eat and pay my bills on time.
By early January, I had paranoid and suicidal thoughts. I felt so overwhelmed with what my body had been through over the last year and there was nothing left in the tank. To heal, here is what I did:
- Started running
- Meditated daily
- Focused on positive affirmations
- Regular acupuncture
- Reduced alcohol
- Stopped listening to the news first thing in the morning
- Reduced time on social media
- Reframed my thoughts to focus on the things I can control
- Stopped trying to do everything all at once
While I’m still navigating a lot of these symptoms, I know I’ve made it this far and can keep going.
This Mental Health Awareness Week (and every other week for that matter), check in on that friend you know might be finding life a little tough lately. Send that meme to let them know you’re thinking of them. Sit with them in silence or invite them for a good brew. People matter, let them know that they matter to you.